ZACCHAEUS

When you hear the name Zacchaeus what comes to mind? Does the children's song that was written about him pop in your head like it does mine? Do you automatically associate the words "wee little man" with him? I've been sitting with the story of Zacchaeus (found in Luke 19:1-10) for the last month and have grown very fond of him. I have so many questions I want to ask him and things I want to talk to him about.

Zacchaeus was a tax collector and at that time in history they were some of the most despised humans. They were Jews working for the much hated Romans. They were considered traitors and were on the same level as thieves and murderers. They were despised, they weren't allowed in the Temple or Synagogues, their money was considered defiled, their testimony wasn't even admissible in court. They were HATED -- and this is the identity of our wee little man Zacchaeus. I imagine his small stature was nothing compared to how small the other Jews and Pharisees made him feel.

His story begins by telling us that Jesus had entered Jericho and was passing through [on His way to Jerusalem]. A large crowd had formed and Luke tells us in verse 3 that Zacchaeus was DESPERATE to see Jesus but couldn't. It makes me wonder... Did anyone even think to invite Zacchaeus to see Jesus? Did anyone even notice him trying get through? What has happened at this point in his life that makes him so desperate? And then, the question that haunts me -- How is it possible for a crowd of Jesus-followers to not notice the people who slip in the back, desperate for what Jesus has to offer, and go completely unnoticed by the very people who have claimed to received His grace, mercy and love? 

Then, Zacchaeus made a decision that I believe changed his life forever. He left the crowd, ran ahead, and climbed a tree. He didn't wait to see if Jesus would notice him, but instead, in his desperate attempt to see Jesus, he looked ahead at where Jesus was going and he positioned himself so he could see Him! This one decision reminds me that... (1) Jesus doesn't stand still so neither can my walk with Him. (2) I have to be willing to leave the crowd and get alone for my walk with Jesus to be personal and intimate. (3) I need to make sure the trees I climb are actually along the path of where Jesus is headed because expecting Him to detour to where I am because I'm comfortable and don't want to move will never work.

The story continues, telling us that Jesus stopped, looked up, and told Zacchaeus to hurry down because he wanted to hang out with him. But the people were indignant and grumped, “What business does he have getting cozy with this crook? Zacchaeus just stood there, a little stunned. He stammered apologetically, 'Master, I give away half my income to the poor—and if I’m caught cheating, I pay four times the damages.'” I just want to hug him at this point because he handed us something so beautiful...

• When you position yourself to see Jesus, you also position yourself to have your mess exposed. And as scary as that sounds, the truth is that is the very place where Jesus wants to offer you grace.
• Jesus is not embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted or repulsed by your sin. Your past doesn't define you or disqualify you!
• In His immense love for us, Jesus will always hand us grace and mercy before He brings the truth into the light.
• Freedom is never found in the hidden places. In the light, truth is revealed, lies are exposed, and chains are broken.

The story of Zacchaeus is a powerful story. His story starts the same as yours and mine- "Jesus entered..." Right where you are today, Jesus desires to have a life-changing encounter with you. I challenge you today to forget what you thought you knew about Zacchaeus and sit his story long enough for the scriptures to read you. Then, take a minute to ask yourself, "what is the Holy Spirit saying to me?"

HOPE-FILLED FUTURE IN A SEASON OF EXILE

Like many verses in the Bible, when you pull them out and let them sit by themselves, they can be so encouraging, so hope-filled. The only problem is when you do that, you lose the context in which the word or promise was given and it can cause you to feel discouraged or defeated.

Take Jeremiah 29:11. It's an amazing verse that tells us that God has plans for us and those plans are to prosper us, not harm us, and they are going to give us hope and a future! Amazing right! Sign me up for no harm (pain, suffering, hard) and put me down for a future filled with hope and prosperity!!! But...

I seriously doubt the people reading those words framed them and hung them on their walls. You see, these words were sent in a letter to the Israelites who were taken into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon. God quickly clarified how/why the exile happened, "Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I HAVE SENT INTO EXILE from Jerusalem to Babylon..." It may have appeared that Nebuchadnezzar took them, but make no mistake, God sent them there. The letter continues, "build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they my bear sons and daughters; multiply there."

Can you image getting a letter from one of God's prophets that basically says, no reason to be mad at the king or the people in Babylon, I AM the one who sent you there. And don't live out of your suitcase thinking this is going to be a quick trip, unpack your stuff and build a life because you're going to be there for a while. Oh yea, and pray for the city where you are being held captive to prosper because only as it prospers will you prosper. Then, right before the famous 29:11, God says "when seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place... FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU..."

If I were them, I would be thinking -- God wants to prosper me... but only if I pray for Him to prosper my enemies. God doesn't want to harm me... but yet He allowed me to be taken from my home and family to a foreign land. God wants to give me a hope... but He wants me to build a life here and wants my children to marry their children. God wants to give me a future... but I am going to be here for 70 years and I'll likely die here.

Isaiah reminds us that God's thoughts and ways are NOT our thoughts and ways. They are much HIGHER and much BIGGER! Jeremiah 29:11 is not a verse for me to take as my own and apply to my life. It is a line in a letter that gives perspective. In light of eternity, I am on this earth for a few short years. But God... He has been writing a story for thousands of years if I choose to allow my story to interact with His story, if I seek to see my story in His story, then I have to be ok with the hard and the messy. It's not about me but it is about Him and His glory.

If you find yourself in a season of exile, be encouraged by the promise he continued to give the Israelites, "...when you call on me, when you come and pray, I will listen. When you come looking for me you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and wanting it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. I'll turn things around for you..."

Seasons of exile allows for space. Space to start over. Space to regroup. Space to plant new seeds. Space to build/create new things. Space to meet new people. Space to impact the world around you for the Gospel. Space to sit at the feet of Jesus. Space to slow down so you can see your story in light of God's story.

Don't sit around waiting for the promise of a future hope. Lean in and get to work right where God has you.

LODGEPOLE PINES

Lodgepole Pines make up about 75% of the trees in the Grand Teton National Park. They were are not particularly beautiful or fascinating to me until I learned about them, their cones, and how they reproduce.

Lodgepole pine cones can stay on the tree for decades. The cones are covered with a resin that keeps them tightly sealed, which means their seeds are locked inside. The cones can not open unless exposed to very high temperatures. It is only in a fire that the cones can open and release the seeds that are patiently waiting to bring new life where destruction has passed through - and it is only the heat of a fire that germinate the seeds. The seeds love the carbon rich soil that the fire leaves behind and the seedlings pop up almost immediately. 

Pain. Suffering. Fire.

How can something that destroys be the very thing that brings forth beauty? That births new life? It doesn’t make sense to our human minds, but it is often the way God works in the lives of His children. He doesn’t cause the fire, it’s part of a broken fallen world, but, if we let Him, He can use the fire for our good and for His glory. The seeds of life that are released because of our pain and suffering can proclaim the glory of God like nothing else.

“I am convinced that any suffering we endure is less than nothing compared to the magnitude of glory that is about to be unveiled within us.”

{Romans 8:18}

“All praises belong to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For He is the Father of tender mercy and the God is endless comfort. He always comes alongside us to comfort is in every suffering so that we can come alongside those who are in any painful trial.”

{2 Corinthians 1:3-4a}

“And then, after your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who has called you to share in His eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger then ever. Yes, He will set you firmly in place and build you us.”

{1 Peter 5:10}

If you are in a season where the fires of life seem to continue to creep closer and closer, I pray that you will stand firm with great anticipation that the Lord will exchange “beauty for ashes.”

WYOMING

"What's in Wyoming?" That was the question I was asked when I told a friend Keith and I were going away for a few days. My answer, "Nothing and Everything!" It is the most beautiful place I've every been. I told Keith a dozen times that I could not possibly take in any more beauty and then would get teary eyed at something else that would take my breath away.

When we were leaving to fly home Tuesday, I was telling God that I could not believe that He made such beautiful things for us to look at and delight in. So amazing. I immediately heard (in my Spirit) God say, "ask me what I find beautiful and delightful." I knew immediately what He was wanting to teach me...

"For the Lord take pleasure in his people."

{Psalm 149:4}

"The Lord take pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love."

{Psalm 147:11}

"...for the Lord delights in you"

{Isaiah 62:4}

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."

{Song of Solomon 4:7}

"His love broke open the way and he brought me into a beautiful broad place.

He rescued me—because his delight is in me!"

{Psalm 18:19}

"For thus says the LORD of hosts, "After glory He has sent me against the nations which plunder you, for he who touches you, touches the apple of His eye."

{Zechariah 2:8}

"The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous..."

{Psalm 34:15}

"For we are God's handiwork..."

{Ephesians 2:10}

And if that's not enough, God says "how beautiful on the mountains are the sandaled feet of this one bringing such good news. You are truly royalty! The way you walk so gracefully in my ways displays such dignity. You are truly the poetry of God—his very handiwork." Notice that God didn't say the mountain was beautiful, but YOU are beautiful. I look and see the mountain and am in awe and yet God, He sees ME, He sees YOU, and He is so delighted!

I pray that you are overwhelmed with God's immense love for you today!

TWENTY-THREE YEARS

The longer I'm married and the longer Keith and I pour our lives into marriage ministry, the more I find myself asking God to forgive us, the Church, for doing such a poor job at displaying marriage to the world.

Like it or not, your marriage reveals to a lost world what it looks like to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ.  So, what is the story your marriage is telling?  You should be able to say to someone who doesn't know God, "watch the way I love, forgive, serve, treat, and speak to my spouse and you will know what it looks like to be in a relationship with Jesus."  Would people want to know more about Jesus or would they want nothing to do with Him?  I am constantly amazed and continuously humbled that God allows broken, jacked-up humans to share His story of love, grace, and forgiveness.

Marriage was and is God's idea and I think it's important to remember that it was designed to be a forever relationship -on this Earth.  The engaged couples that we counsel don't particularly like it when we tell them that the marriage they are obsessed with and are actively preparing for is only for this Earth.  But we tell them that because we know that the only way for their marriage on this Earth to be successful is for them to do life with that perspective.

In the last book of the Bible it says, "Let us be full of joy and be glad. Let us honor Him, for the time has come for the wedding supper of the Lamb. His bride has made herself ready. She was given clean, white, fine linen clothes to wear. The fine linen is the right living of God’s people.” As a Christian, whether you are married or single, you are to live everyday actively preparing yourself for your marriage with Christ.  Your relationship with Him is the only Eternal relationship so you should be obsessed with Him!  In fact, I believe the gap between your love for God and your love for your spouse, children, friends, parents, etc. should be MASSIVE.  Looking to Jesus to meet your core human needs - acceptance, identity, security, and purpose - is the only way you will be satisfied and be able to relate in a healthy way with your spouse and others.

Keith and I celebrate 23 years of marriage today. I f I could go back and give my 22 year old self some marriage advice, it would tell her... (1) make it your life's mission to know God's Word (2) search the Scripture and learn the true character of the God of the Bible (3) the moment you made a covenant with God a war for your marriage and family began so learn to do life in the spiritual realm (4) your role is to partner with God to help Keith become who God purposed him to be and to help Keith prepare for his marriage with Christ and (5) keep your heart tender toward Keith by adopting a posture of forgiveness because it will disarm the enemy in ways you can't imagine.

Hey 22 year old Jackie, did you notice that my advice to you actually has nothing to do with Keith but everything to do with your relationship with Jesus?  Don't forget it.  It will literally ruin your relationship if you do!

Keith Harmon, there is no one in this world that I would rather do life with than you.  You make me more like Jesus by the way you live and love.  You are the greatest human I know and one of God's greatest gifts to me. Love you!

HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY, MILES

Ten years ago, in a village in Ethiopia, a little boy was born and given the name Misikir, which means 'witness'.  It would be four months before we would see his face for the first time and then another four months before he would be placed in our arms.

People are so quick to say how lucky Miles is to be in our family and I know they mean well, but that could not be further from the truth.

Did you know that we ignored God's call to adopt for over a year?  We ended up saying yes to adoption out of a desire to be obedient, not because we wanted more children and not because our hearts were so burden for orphans.  We even checked 'no' on our paperwork when asked if we would be willing to accept a child with special needs.  You see, there is nothing at all special about us.  God didn't choose us to parent Miles because of who we were, He chose to place Misikir in our lives because of the 'witness' it would be. It was always for our good and for His glory.

Miles Misikir, you are a gift I didn't know to ask for but one I am so grateful I received.  Today I celebrate your life and the life one the one who gave you life.  I wish she knew the impact your little life has had on the world in just ten short years.  You are a gift worth celebrating today and everyday!

PARENT THE BRAIN, NOT THE BEHAVIOR

One of the greatest things the gift of Autism has given us is an excuse to celebrate EVERYTHING! We are constantly praising and rewarding good choices to encourage Miles to repeat that behavior. We do this to keep his brain calm so learning can continue. The cool thing is the things we learn to help our child with Autism are things are are true and beneficial to all children.

All of our interaction with Miles are intentional because we are doing everything we can to NOT trigger the survival part of his brain. You see, there is a part of the brain in the Limbic area called the Amygdala and it is constantly taking in data (words, facial expressions, tone of voice, environment, etc.) to measure threat or danger. If something appears to be a threat, it signals the brain stem to activate the flight/fight/freeze response which, in turn, activates the adrenal glands to release adrenaline. That system was brilliantly designed by our Creator and is essential in assessing threats and staying safe. But, if a person has experienced trauma, that system can work a little TOO good and it can trigger a response that doesn't SEEM to match the situation. But if it triggers them it is REAL to them.

The challenge is that when that part of the brain is triggered and the adrenaline floods through the blood stream, the prefrontal cortex can't do it's job, which is to focus on executive functions like logic, reasoning, self control, decision making, impulse control, adjusting behavior, etc. So, when Miles is triggered, it takes 45 minutes for his brain and body to calm down and his prefrontal cortex to reengage. Which means, no amount of talking, reasoning, or discipline will help and no learning can happen. But, that is not just true with Miles, it's true for all humans.

Learning what triggers Miles is essential to his learning and success because at the end of the day, it's not Miles' job to not get triggered, it's our job to learn Miles so we can protect his brain and body from the affects of being triggered. Which means, we have had to learn to be mindful of our tone of voice, our facial expressions, our use of words, and the way we react and respond.

One way we practice positive reinforcement is with a little clipboard, some velcro, and a few bottle caps. We have used this for everything from learning to stick together in public, sitting at the dinner table, picking up toys, putting something in the trash or sink, playing quietly with toys, using words, etc. The options are literally endless. One thing that helps Miles is when we tell him what we want him to do instead of what not to do. For example, instead of 'don't stand on the couch' we say 'sit on your bottom.' I use this to highlight the behaviors that he does that I want to reinforce. If I walk in the living room and Miles is sitting on the couch (instead of jumping or standing), I will say 'good sitting on the couch on your bottom!' and then move a cap from the back to the front. If that is a behavior that we are intentionally working on, I will stay close and say the same thing every couple of minutes until all ten caps are moved and then give him whatever the prize he was working for then we would start over. The more we work on a certain behavior and the more he gets it, we extend the time in between being awarded a bottle cap and eventually we just move to celebrating the good behavior when we see it.

It is so amazing what a constant flow of positive reinforcement does to a child. You are not only gifting them with the opportunity to feel proud of themselves for little things and big things all day long, but you are also rewiring their brains and making the connections and pathways stronger, which makes it easier for them to repeat the positive behavior. And when you pair that with trying to keep their brain calm, learning happens at much faster pace.

The great thing is you don't have to be a neurologist to be a good parent. Your child was "fearfully and wonderfully made" by a loving God who "knows the plans HE has for them." Our job is to partner with HIM to know how to train up our children. Children are a temporary assignment, they are arrows to be sharpened and launched out into the world to live out their unique purpose.

SO.MANY.WORDS.

The gift of Autism has taught us so much about the brain and how it operates.  One of the many helpful things I've learned over the last several years is that some people are EXTERNAL processors and others are INTERNAL processors.

EXTERNAL processors are people that often think and talk everything out loud with others listening and supporting as they do so.  In order to understand how they feel about something, they prefer to talk it out with someone else.  INTERNAL processors process their feelings and thoughts internally first before expressing them out loud.  They are more likely to turn inward to get clarity, rather than outward to the people in their life.

Neither way is right or wrong... just different.  Keith and Alex are both EXTERNAL processors.  They talk A LOT!  Alex Harmon just finished his freshman year of college and, although he didn't come home often, he called me about 4-5 times a day.  To talk.  About nothing.  So.Many.Words.  Over the years, I've just learned to appreciate the way his brain is wired and decided if he is going to invite me to listen to every thought he has, then I will use that information to know how to pray for him and guide him.

Well, Alex moved out of the dorm and back home for the summer, which means, LOTS AND LOTS OF WORDS!!!  He literally wakes up in mid conversation and is content to follow me around the house talking about, well, EVERYTHING.  I didn't think about how the extra talking would affect Miles or if he even noticed a difference... until yesterday.  I came upstairs and walked into the living room where Miles was sitting.  Alex was following me and talking, as usual.  Miles, with two iPads going and wearing noise cancelling headphones, looked up at Alex and said, “TURN MOUTH OFF.”  Simple. Direct. And to the point.

MOTHER'S DAY

The one behind the camera made me a mom and made life fun.  The one in my arms made me wrestle with my role as a mom and forced me to declare war on the person in the mirror.  The fun, the hard, the good, the bad... it is all worth it.  These boys are amazing and I never want to be the me before them.

CIRCA 1987

Keith switched elementary schools in 5th grade and became best friends with a boy that lived down the street from me.  Every day after school, when my friend Brooke and I were outside playing, Keith and Chad went up and down the street trying to get our attention. Sometimes that meant riding their bikes, making sure to do a cool trick as they passed us.  Othertimes, they would play loudly in Chad's front yard, making sure we knew they were there.  But if Brooke and I were playing basketball in her driveway, they would walk up and down the sidewalk bouncing a basketball, waiting for an invitation to play H-O-R-S-E.

Keith would repeat this attention-getting ritual off an on over the next several years because he already decided he was going to marry me.  His woo-ing skills were similar to that of a red-capped manakin and although annoying at the time, it was always entertaining.  I'm so grateful that Keith didn't give up on his pursuit of me, but I'm even more grateful that a Holy, Righteous God would actively pursue stubborn, sinful me.

Single ladies, don't give in to someone who isn't willing to display the character of God to you, someone who isn't willing to actively pursue you and prove that you can trust him with your heart.  You want someone to protect your heart and make your emotional and physical purity a priority.  If he isn't willing to "guard and keep" you before getting married, it is not likely that he will willing to step into that role in the future. 

"Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it." {Proverbs 4:23}

FROM ONE MOM TO THE OTHER

Dear Firkirte-  I wish you could experience the pure joy that radiates from your Misikir.  His love of life makes everyone around him smile.  We met with his school yesterday to make plans for next year.  Oh how I wish you could have been there.  I wish you could see each of their faces when they talk about Miles Misikir.  They work so hard to help him succeed in every environment he is placed in.  They have plans for next year to help him grow and achieve the success they know he is capable of.  They are committed to find ways to measure the greatness that we all see inside him and are even willing to get special training to do so.  They love him so big and I know your mama heart would be as blessed as mine.

We also took him to a new dentist yesterday and it made me think of you.  I filled out all the paperwork online, answering pages of questions, and had to submit them knowing they weren't correct.  I hate answering questions about family history and not having the space to explain that his history can not be answered in yes and no questions.  I answered all the questions hoping for an "additional comments" box so I could tell them that he has a family history that is separate from mine.  I can tell them about Miles, but I also need space to tell them about your Misikir.  The two can't be separated.

Ten years ago, you were pregnant with Misikir.  The gap between the last time you held him in your arms and the first time he was placed in mine was only eight months long, but it marked him in a way that we we are still very aware of it.  We often live in that space and work hard everyday to close it, but there will always be a part of the gap that stays open for you.  And we are ok with that.  I pray that when you remember your time with your Misikir, it fills you with the same amount of love and joy that Miles gives us.

"I thank my God every time I remember you.

And whenever I mention you in my prayers, it makes me happy."

{Philippians 1:3-4}

IN BEGINNING...

B'reshit... בראשית
It means "in beginning."

It's not only the first word in the Bible, but it's a word that tells a story.  Before God created, a plan of redemption was already in place.  Before Elohim (which is a plural noun) prepared the world for humanity, Jesus' death on the Cross was already decided... and yet they still created.

You and I.  We were born with a spiritual disability called sin.  But Jesus.  He conquered sin and death so that we could be set free. 

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son.

And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him."

{John 3:16-18}

PETER. JESUS. THE DO-OVER.

Grace. It means kindness + favor.  It implies reaching, inclining, extension/leaning toward. What a beautiful word picture.  [Holy and righteous] God reaching for and leaning toward [sinful and selfish] us for the purpose of pouring out His kindness and favor and freely giving Himself away to us.  Grace is never about us.  Grace is never something we deserve.  Grace speaks to the character of the person who is doing the reaching, the leaning, the extending.

God is so gracious to go before us and model how to lovingly and forgivingly restore someone by extending grace, by offering a do-over.  One of my favorite pictures of grace happens around the warmth of an open fire.

There is only mention of two charcoal fires in all of the Bible.  John 18 begins with Jesus and the boys entering a garden in the Kidron Valley where they were met by a group of soldiers and officers with lanterns, torches and weapons.  Jesus was betrayed, arrested, bound, and taken into the court of the High Priest.

Peter [and another disciple] followed Jesus to the courtyard.  If you and I stick close to Peter, we see him walk past a servant-girl at the gate who says to him, “Aren’t you one of this man’s disciples?”  Peter denied it.  He made his way over to the charcoal fire that the servants and guards had built to warm themselves.  While he was standing with them, he was asked again, “Aren’t you one of the followers of that man?”  Peter denied it a second time.  One of the servants spoke up and said, “I think I saw you with him in the garden!” Peter screams for the third and last time “NO, I WAS NOT WITH HIM!”

[insert rooster crow]

What do you think Peter felt in that instance?  I bet Jesus' words from earlier that evening come flooding back, “will you really give your life for me, [Peter]?  The truth is, before the rooster crows, you will say three times that you don’t know me.”

Peter, standing by a charcoal fire on a cold night, confused and scared.  People are all around, talking, whispering, yelling. Jesus is being questioned. Jesus is being hit. I’m sure Peter's mind was racing, trying to make sense of what is happening. The smell of smoke invades his senses. It's in the air, in his clothes, on his skin, and in his hair. But the moment he hears the rooster crow, I imagine his heart skipping a beat, his ears going deaf to the sounds around him, his eyes looking up and making eye contact with Jesus.

Did you know that Jesus changed Peter's name?  His new name gave him a new purpose.  It allowed Simon to see himself the way Jesus saw him.  He was no longer Simon, but instead Peter, which means rock.

As the rooster crows and the sun begins to rise, the smoke of the charcoal fire falls on Peter like a blanket of fear, guilt and shame.  Luke tells us that Peter ran out of the courtyard weeping uncontrollably. In that moment, Peter wasn't the unmovable rock he thought he was and it rocked him to the core.

As the day went on, Jesus is beaten beyond recognition and crucified on a cross.  He is dead and buried before sunset.  Peter never got to say sorry.  Never got to say goodbye.

So much happens from the time Jesus was buried to the only other mention of a charcoal fire.  So, if we jump ahead several days [possibly weeks] and travel 112 miles North to the Sea of Galilee, we find Peter and six other disciples fishing near Tiberias.  They were out all night and caught nothing.  A man standing on the shore and says to them, "do you have any fish?"  After yelling back "no", the man said to them, "cast the net on the right side of the boat..."

The Bible tells us that as soon as John told Peter the man on the shore is Jesus, Peter "threw himself into the sea."  This is the first time he has seen Jesus since he denied him and he can not get to Him quick enough.

NERD ALERT: In this part of the story, the Bible tells us they caught 153 fish. Why tell us how many? What does it mean? Well, without boring you with talk of numbers, Hebrew letters, gematria, etc., just know that "ANI ELOHIM" means "I AM GOD" and when you add the letters up it equals 153.

Jesus invites the disciples to breakfast and they all make their way to the charcoal fire  that was already in place.  Can you hear that?  If I'm not mistaken, that is the sound of Peter's heart pounding out of his chest.  This feels uncomfortably familiar.  As he sits down, the warmth of the fire feels suffocating.  The distinct smell the charcoal fire triggers so many unresolved, unsettled emotions in Peter's heart.

When they finished breakfast, the conversation quieted.  Jesus addressed Peter saying, "Simon, son of John,..." [Simon. He called him Simon. That is Peter's old name. His old identity. Jesus has Peter's full attention.] "...do you love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," Peter replies, "you know I love you!"  Jesus repeated the question, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"  "Yes, Lord," Peter said, "you know I love you!"  For the third time, Jesus asks Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"  A very hurt, deeply grieved Peter replied, "Lord, you know everything. You know I love you."

Peter was certain he was ready to die for Jesus, but instead he denied knowing Him, not once, not twice, but three times in one night.  Jesus saw his hurt and pain and gave him a do-over.  The smell of a charcoal fire would no longer trigger guilt and shame, but instead would served as a beautiful reminder of the redemptive love of Jesus.  The three denials no longer defined his lack of commitment to Jesus because the opportunity to declare his love and affection for Jesus reminded him of the solid, stable rock that Jesus knew he would be.

Grace.  It was never about Peter.  Grace wasn't something he deserved.  The unsolicited gift of grace spoke to the character of Jesus.

Jesus. 

The cross. The ultimate do-over.

The ultimate act of love, kindness and grace.

God has been reaching, inclining, leaning towards humans from the moment sin entered the world.  This Easter weekend, don't let fear, guilt and shame cover you like the smoke of a charcoal fire.  Allow God to redeem your hurts and pain.  Allow God to redefine the hard moments in your life and speak the truth of who He knows you to be.  Allow God to grace you. Jesus is already reaching, inclining, leaning towards you... just lean in, rest your face in let His nail scared hands, and let Him tell you how much He adores you.  He is so crazy in love with you and there is nothing you do can change that. NOTHING!

DO YOU WANT TO BE MADE WELL?

In Jerusalem, near the old sheep gate, you will find the remains of a pool called Bethesda.  About 2,000 years ago, this place was crowded with people who were disabled in some way. They laid around the pool, waiting for the waters to be stirred, waiting to be healed.

The Bible tells the story of a thirty-eight year old man who had been by the pool for a very long time.  He had probably been there since he was a young boy, possibly dropped off my his parents.  Waiting.  Wishing.  Hoping.  I wonder how many years he laid there before discouragement set in?  I wonder how many people he saw healed over the years?  I wonder if resentment, bitterness, and anger had taken root in his heart? 

Jesus SAW the man and asked, "Do you want to be made well?"  Such a strange question. I  wonder if the man knew what Jesus was asking?  I mean, REALLY KNEW.

NERD ALERT: The phrase "to be made well" sounds future tense but in the Greek, the phrase is an aorist middle infinitive verb. (Please don't let my weirdness scare you, I promise it's not contagious.)  This type of verb is almost always translated into English in the past tense, indicating something has already been accomplished. (Exciting, right?!?)

So, with that in mind, I think Jesus was asking the man, "Do you want to stay where you are or do you want the healing and wholeness that is yours for the taking?  Are you ready and willing to be the person God has already purposed you to be?"

For years, this man had been looking to the water for healing.  For years, this man looked to others to be the answer to his problems.  But Jesus.  He SAW him, He KNEW him, and He said to him, "Get up, take up your bed, and walk."

The Bible says, "AT ONCE the man was healed, took up his bed and walked."  No questions.  No hesitation.  No excuses.  He believed, obeyed, and took action. 

Today, on this Good Friday, I believe that Jesus is asking each one of us, "Do you want to stay where you are or do you want the healing and wholeness that is yours for the taking?  Are you ready and willing to be the person God has already purposed you to be?"

Jesus SEES you.  Jesus KNOWS you.  And over 2,000 years ago, Jesus died so that you could be made WHOLE.  Get up, take up bed (because you are never going back there), and walk.