Like it or not, your marriage reveals to a lost world what it looks like to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ. So, what is the story your marriage is telling? You should be able to say to someone who doesn't know God, "watch the way I love, forgive, serve, treat, and speak to my spouse and you will know what it looks like to be in a relationship with Jesus." Would people want to know more about Jesus or would they want nothing to do with Him? I am constantly amazed and continuously humbled that God allows broken, jacked-up humans to share His story of love, grace, and forgiveness.
Marriage was and is God's idea and I think it's important to remember that it was designed to be a forever relationship -on this Earth. The engaged couples that we counsel don't particularly like it when we tell them that the marriage they are obsessed with and are actively preparing for is only for this Earth. But we tell them that because we know that the only way for their marriage on this Earth to be successful is for them to do life with that perspective.
In the last book of the Bible it says, "Let us be full of joy and be glad. Let us honor Him, for the time has come for the wedding supper of the Lamb. His bride has made herself ready. She was given clean, white, fine linen clothes to wear. The fine linen is the right living of God’s people.” As a Christian, whether you are married or single, you are to live everyday actively preparing yourself for your marriage with Christ. Your relationship with Him is the only Eternal relationship so you should be obsessed with Him! In fact, I believe the gap between your love for God and your love for your spouse, children, friends, parents, etc. should be MASSIVE. Looking to Jesus to meet your core human needs - acceptance, identity, security, and purpose - is the only way you will be satisfied and be able to relate in a healthy way with your spouse and others.
Keith and I celebrate 23 years of marriage today. I f I could go back and give my 22 year old self some marriage advice, it would tell her... (1) make it your life's mission to know God's Word (2) search the Scripture and learn the true character of the God of the Bible (3) the moment you made a covenant with God a war for your marriage and family began so learn to do life in the spiritual realm (4) your role is to partner with God to help Keith become who God purposed him to be and to help Keith prepare for his marriage with Christ and (5) keep your heart tender toward Keith by adopting a posture of forgiveness because it will disarm the enemy in ways you can't imagine.
Hey 22 year old Jackie, did you notice that my advice to you actually has nothing to do with Keith but everything to do with your relationship with Jesus? Don't forget it. It will literally ruin your relationship if you do!
Keith Harmon, there is no one in this world that I would rather do life with than you. You make me more like Jesus by the way you live and love. You are the greatest human I know and one of God's greatest gifts to me. Love you!
