FROM ONE MOM TO THE OTHER

Dear Firkirte-  I wish you could experience the pure joy that radiates from your Misikir.  His love of life makes everyone around him smile.  We met with his school yesterday to make plans for next year.  Oh how I wish you could have been there.  I wish you could see each of their faces when they talk about Miles Misikir.  They work so hard to help him succeed in every environment he is placed in.  They have plans for next year to help him grow and achieve the success they know he is capable of.  They are committed to find ways to measure the greatness that we all see inside him and are even willing to get special training to do so.  They love him so big and I know your mama heart would be as blessed as mine.

We also took him to a new dentist yesterday and it made me think of you.  I filled out all the paperwork online, answering pages of questions, and had to submit them knowing they weren't correct.  I hate answering questions about family history and not having the space to explain that his history can not be answered in yes and no questions.  I answered all the questions hoping for an "additional comments" box so I could tell them that he has a family history that is separate from mine.  I can tell them about Miles, but I also need space to tell them about your Misikir.  The two can't be separated.

Ten years ago, you were pregnant with Misikir.  The gap between the last time you held him in your arms and the first time he was placed in mine was only eight months long, but it marked him in a way that we we are still very aware of it.  We often live in that space and work hard everyday to close it, but there will always be a part of the gap that stays open for you.  And we are ok with that.  I pray that when you remember your time with your Misikir, it fills you with the same amount of love and joy that Miles gives us.

"I thank my God every time I remember you.

And whenever I mention you in my prayers, it makes me happy."

{Philippians 1:3-4}

IN BEGINNING...

B'reshit... בראשית
It means "in beginning."

It's not only the first word in the Bible, but it's a word that tells a story.  Before God created, a plan of redemption was already in place.  Before Elohim (which is a plural noun) prepared the world for humanity, Jesus' death on the Cross was already decided... and yet they still created.

You and I.  We were born with a spiritual disability called sin.  But Jesus.  He conquered sin and death so that we could be set free. 

“This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son.

And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him."

{John 3:16-18}

PETER. JESUS. THE DO-OVER.

Grace. It means kindness + favor.  It implies reaching, inclining, extension/leaning toward. What a beautiful word picture.  [Holy and righteous] God reaching for and leaning toward [sinful and selfish] us for the purpose of pouring out His kindness and favor and freely giving Himself away to us.  Grace is never about us.  Grace is never something we deserve.  Grace speaks to the character of the person who is doing the reaching, the leaning, the extending.

God is so gracious to go before us and model how to lovingly and forgivingly restore someone by extending grace, by offering a do-over.  One of my favorite pictures of grace happens around the warmth of an open fire.

There is only mention of two charcoal fires in all of the Bible.  John 18 begins with Jesus and the boys entering a garden in the Kidron Valley where they were met by a group of soldiers and officers with lanterns, torches and weapons.  Jesus was betrayed, arrested, bound, and taken into the court of the High Priest.

Peter [and another disciple] followed Jesus to the courtyard.  If you and I stick close to Peter, we see him walk past a servant-girl at the gate who says to him, “Aren’t you one of this man’s disciples?”  Peter denied it.  He made his way over to the charcoal fire that the servants and guards had built to warm themselves.  While he was standing with them, he was asked again, “Aren’t you one of the followers of that man?”  Peter denied it a second time.  One of the servants spoke up and said, “I think I saw you with him in the garden!” Peter screams for the third and last time “NO, I WAS NOT WITH HIM!”

[insert rooster crow]

What do you think Peter felt in that instance?  I bet Jesus' words from earlier that evening come flooding back, “will you really give your life for me, [Peter]?  The truth is, before the rooster crows, you will say three times that you don’t know me.”

Peter, standing by a charcoal fire on a cold night, confused and scared.  People are all around, talking, whispering, yelling. Jesus is being questioned. Jesus is being hit. I’m sure Peter's mind was racing, trying to make sense of what is happening. The smell of smoke invades his senses. It's in the air, in his clothes, on his skin, and in his hair. But the moment he hears the rooster crow, I imagine his heart skipping a beat, his ears going deaf to the sounds around him, his eyes looking up and making eye contact with Jesus.

Did you know that Jesus changed Peter's name?  His new name gave him a new purpose.  It allowed Simon to see himself the way Jesus saw him.  He was no longer Simon, but instead Peter, which means rock.

As the rooster crows and the sun begins to rise, the smoke of the charcoal fire falls on Peter like a blanket of fear, guilt and shame.  Luke tells us that Peter ran out of the courtyard weeping uncontrollably. In that moment, Peter wasn't the unmovable rock he thought he was and it rocked him to the core.

As the day went on, Jesus is beaten beyond recognition and crucified on a cross.  He is dead and buried before sunset.  Peter never got to say sorry.  Never got to say goodbye.

So much happens from the time Jesus was buried to the only other mention of a charcoal fire.  So, if we jump ahead several days [possibly weeks] and travel 112 miles North to the Sea of Galilee, we find Peter and six other disciples fishing near Tiberias.  They were out all night and caught nothing.  A man standing on the shore and says to them, "do you have any fish?"  After yelling back "no", the man said to them, "cast the net on the right side of the boat..."

The Bible tells us that as soon as John told Peter the man on the shore is Jesus, Peter "threw himself into the sea."  This is the first time he has seen Jesus since he denied him and he can not get to Him quick enough.

NERD ALERT: In this part of the story, the Bible tells us they caught 153 fish. Why tell us how many? What does it mean? Well, without boring you with talk of numbers, Hebrew letters, gematria, etc., just know that "ANI ELOHIM" means "I AM GOD" and when you add the letters up it equals 153.

Jesus invites the disciples to breakfast and they all make their way to the charcoal fire  that was already in place.  Can you hear that?  If I'm not mistaken, that is the sound of Peter's heart pounding out of his chest.  This feels uncomfortably familiar.  As he sits down, the warmth of the fire feels suffocating.  The distinct smell the charcoal fire triggers so many unresolved, unsettled emotions in Peter's heart.

When they finished breakfast, the conversation quieted.  Jesus addressed Peter saying, "Simon, son of John,..." [Simon. He called him Simon. That is Peter's old name. His old identity. Jesus has Peter's full attention.] "...do you love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," Peter replies, "you know I love you!"  Jesus repeated the question, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"  "Yes, Lord," Peter said, "you know I love you!"  For the third time, Jesus asks Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"  A very hurt, deeply grieved Peter replied, "Lord, you know everything. You know I love you."

Peter was certain he was ready to die for Jesus, but instead he denied knowing Him, not once, not twice, but three times in one night.  Jesus saw his hurt and pain and gave him a do-over.  The smell of a charcoal fire would no longer trigger guilt and shame, but instead would served as a beautiful reminder of the redemptive love of Jesus.  The three denials no longer defined his lack of commitment to Jesus because the opportunity to declare his love and affection for Jesus reminded him of the solid, stable rock that Jesus knew he would be.

Grace.  It was never about Peter.  Grace wasn't something he deserved.  The unsolicited gift of grace spoke to the character of Jesus.

Jesus. 

The cross. The ultimate do-over.

The ultimate act of love, kindness and grace.

God has been reaching, inclining, leaning towards humans from the moment sin entered the world.  This Easter weekend, don't let fear, guilt and shame cover you like the smoke of a charcoal fire.  Allow God to redeem your hurts and pain.  Allow God to redefine the hard moments in your life and speak the truth of who He knows you to be.  Allow God to grace you. Jesus is already reaching, inclining, leaning towards you... just lean in, rest your face in let His nail scared hands, and let Him tell you how much He adores you.  He is so crazy in love with you and there is nothing you do can change that. NOTHING!

DO YOU WANT TO BE MADE WELL?

In Jerusalem, near the old sheep gate, you will find the remains of a pool called Bethesda.  About 2,000 years ago, this place was crowded with people who were disabled in some way. They laid around the pool, waiting for the waters to be stirred, waiting to be healed.

The Bible tells the story of a thirty-eight year old man who had been by the pool for a very long time.  He had probably been there since he was a young boy, possibly dropped off my his parents.  Waiting.  Wishing.  Hoping.  I wonder how many years he laid there before discouragement set in?  I wonder how many people he saw healed over the years?  I wonder if resentment, bitterness, and anger had taken root in his heart? 

Jesus SAW the man and asked, "Do you want to be made well?"  Such a strange question. I  wonder if the man knew what Jesus was asking?  I mean, REALLY KNEW.

NERD ALERT: The phrase "to be made well" sounds future tense but in the Greek, the phrase is an aorist middle infinitive verb. (Please don't let my weirdness scare you, I promise it's not contagious.)  This type of verb is almost always translated into English in the past tense, indicating something has already been accomplished. (Exciting, right?!?)

So, with that in mind, I think Jesus was asking the man, "Do you want to stay where you are or do you want the healing and wholeness that is yours for the taking?  Are you ready and willing to be the person God has already purposed you to be?"

For years, this man had been looking to the water for healing.  For years, this man looked to others to be the answer to his problems.  But Jesus.  He SAW him, He KNEW him, and He said to him, "Get up, take up your bed, and walk."

The Bible says, "AT ONCE the man was healed, took up his bed and walked."  No questions.  No hesitation.  No excuses.  He believed, obeyed, and took action. 

Today, on this Good Friday, I believe that Jesus is asking each one of us, "Do you want to stay where you are or do you want the healing and wholeness that is yours for the taking?  Are you ready and willing to be the person God has already purposed you to be?"

Jesus SEES you.  Jesus KNOWS you.  And over 2,000 years ago, Jesus died so that you could be made WHOLE.  Get up, take up bed (because you are never going back there), and walk.